It's a Choice

There are two theories so far:

1. I should make changes, but make them slowly, and don't abstain from all of the bad stuff, i.e. sugar and carbs).

2. Do my best to abstain from the bad stuff and make the healthy choice every time I have the choice (which is almost every time if I plan for it).

Which is right for me? I have the feeling that their is no one plan, activity, or lifestyle change that will work for everyone, or even a large group of folks.

I started out the year by doing my best to choose the healthy alternatives, walking, and really pushing myself. That lasted for about 2 months before I tripped up and fell back on old habits. I have tried and tripped up over and over again. Though getting healthy is definitely still in my thoughts.

Currently I am coming to the realization that I need to be conscious of my decisions. Yesterday, I decided that I would do what ever it was I needed to do to make the choices good ones for myself. On the back side of my right hand between my thumb and forefinger I have written the phrase "IT'S A CHOICE!" So that it is right there every time I look at my hand. So far it is helping me stay conscious of my food choices.

Still got a lot to get right with, but for right now I am taking it one meal at a time. I hope every one out there are taking the steps they need to to get where they want to be.

HB

At a standstill...

Hey All,

At a loss for what I should do. Can't seem to stop eating. I am away from home right now and I am not sure whether that is affecting my eating or if it is all for crap.

I have been really feeling like shit about it. Which of course makes it worse. Can't seem to eat at the right interval or the right stuff.

On another not...I watched that new Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. It just premiered on ABC. I can't say that it was the best show but I would watch it again every once in a while.

You know what kinda show I wanna see. I wanna see Weight loss on a budget...DAMN IT ALL. I know that I can't afford gym memberships, personal trainers, and buying all the healthy food that I should. Some of the shows even revolve around going to a rehab type setting.

I don't think that the average person - especially those that are students - can pay for all that to make a go at losing weight.

Any idea about how I might change my eating habits for the better would be greatly appreciated. Or any advice what so ever would be great.

HB

Ohhh...the Struggle - 3.25.11

Hey Hey Hey,

The whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I have been a horrible eater and a horrendous procrastinator to the extreme. Frustration and any other emotion leads me down the road to temptation. Sure I could say no, but then I would change my mind 5 minutes later and make a b-line on to bad bad foods! Examples...fast food restaurants, cake, more cake, donuts, pizza...in other terms carbs and sugars...yum yum but aggravating that I didn't say NO!

I am going to weigh in tomorrow and I expect that I will have put on weight since the last time. I have been weighing off and on through this large gap of struggle. Yeah and the scale don't lie...I put on some weight.

I did relatively great today. I drank 6 - 16 OZ bottles of water, ate at the right intervals. So all in all I am proud of accomplishing just that. Won't say it wasn't a huge struggle to not eat out, eat alot, and eat sugar, sugar, and more sugar. The cake was a call'n me this evening, and it still is call'n but the voices have gotten a little softer. Still there though.

So here's to getting back on the getting healthy wagon. I tripped, but I am getting back up and looking at where I am going hoping not to trip again.

Until tomorrow...hope everyone out there is keeping up with what they are trying to achieve in there own lives.

Best Wishes to you all,

HB

Dazed and Confused

Hey All,

It's been a long while since I have not only the time but the drive to blog. Not that I don't like doing it...just been at a loss for what to say about what is going on with me at this time.

I am telling my self baby steps are the way to go right now. Making a list and sticking to it in the hopes that at the end of the day I don't want to pull my hair out, curl up in bed and feel like crying my eyes out cause I am so frustrated with...? I can't even give name to what is going on with me at this moment.

I am sad, scared, panicking...what is it...GRRRRRR! How can I work through it if I can't readily pinpoint what is going on with me.

Is it my end of period drama's that have me feeling like I could lose it at any moment. Trust when I say when I lose it...I lose it big. Temper...temper. I got a hold of that a while back, but because I often hold things in when I blow up it isn't just about that one incident. No it is about every incident under the sun that hasn't been voiced and put into words that is related to the last thing to set me off.

My moods and stress level have been hell on my getting healthy journey. Won't say I have given up cause even when I am eating bad food I got that voice in my head (not as loud as it used to be) telling me I know I should be eating that. I just ain't had the drive to stop my self.

I am gonna get back on it though. Gotta get moving on my lists cause I have been majorly forgetful and confused as of late. That hasn't happened for a long while.

I am gonna get back to it. Though I am having more than a few rough patches...I hope all of you out there working on your very own journey's are finding you path a lot less complicated and rough than mine.

Best Wishes,

HB

From Gobble to Great

Hey Hey,

Yesterday the dreaded gobble monster got me. What to do about the gobble monster is a challenge in and of itself. Do I feed the monster a little or quit cold turkey and risk the monster rearing up and attacking food like a ravaging beast? Questions, questions, questions??? On the bright side...you know the silver lining...it wasn't good, but it could have been a whole lot worse that is for damn sure.

I still feel like I want to keep going and that continues to be a surprise. I can honestly admit that every year since my junior year of high school I have been telling myself that I was going to get healthy. Up until this time it had not stuck for more than a month or so baring that one episode of L.A. Weight Loss where I lasted 15 weeks. I could feel it wasn't going to work from the go on most of those tries.

I was great today except that slight case of nausea cause I didn't eat on time. :) I turned down cookies, Chinese food (love me some Chinese food), eating more when I knew I shouldn't.

Eureka...I think I figure it out...on days where my water intake is low like yesterday and Sunday...I eat, and eat, and eat, and eat...predominantly sugars and carbs like they are going out of style fast. On days like today where I drank a lot of water I can turn down food and eat healthy.

I am happy to announce that I actually did some exercise today. I did 25 minutes of Cardio Express Zumba then went out for a 30 minute walk around the block (approx 1.3 miles). Took me a long time to finally get going with the exercise.

Exercise related as I mentioned in a previous blog, I listen "Cutting the Fat Podcast" and they mentions a 30 Minutes for 30 Days Pledge...well tada...I am pledge...and for not other reason than that I want to...that come rain or shine, outside or in, feeling great or slightly under the weather...that I will walk for 30 Minutes for the Next 30 Days. So thanks to the co-creators of the blog for inspiring me to get myself moving.

Quote for this Entry:

Self-discipline is when you tell yourself to do something and you don't talk back. - W. K. Hope

Have a great wednesday...

HB

Daily is out...

Hey All,

I have decided to do away with naming my blogs by date. I am going to post when I can. Not to say that it won't be everyday, but I think that I will title my blog with how I am feeling or something other than just the plain old boring Daily blah blah.

Ate okay today. Had some sushi not much, but enough to get me by. Today was the first day I using my new scale (took pictures just got to get the connector for the camera to upload them).

I am going to do an entire post on the scale once I get the pics ready. I am excited about a scale...hmmm is that weird? I have also been thinking of other health oriented items.

Side note for folks. I am a dumb dumb some days. I washed and dried my pedometer. It is now in pedometer heaven. I couldn't believe it when it fell out of my jeans pocket. : (

This week I weigh 304.2 which is 5 less than 309.2 last week. My sister is down one pound from last week where she weighted in at 218.7. Chals hasn't weight in, but hopefully she is keeping it together and working on it.

Hmmm...I am wondering I only have a few followers or rather I like to think of you a blog friends cause I am not a cult leader and when I here the word followers I think of cults...I know I am weird no need to state it out loud, but I am wondering if any of you out there have advice for handling sugar cravings? Let me know maybe it will help me the next time my dreaded friend rolls into town.

Have a blessed night...

HB

Wow...9 days

Hey All,

Sorry to have been non-existent in the blog world for sooooo loooong. I was super behind in everything. I couldn't focus on not a one thing until yesterday. I don't know if this is too real for anyone out there, but having my period is not the norm for me, so I was wholly unprepared for the cravings. The week where mother nature decided to gift me with my period was HOOORRRIIIBBLLEEE! I feel it was that bad and want to mention again that it was horrible.

That was from Jan 30 - Feb 7.

Cravings...I was was drooling like a Saint Bernard over the Liliha Bakery counter, eyes just jumping from confection to confection. Don't know if it was that I hadn't had sugars (i.e. donuts and other sugary goodness) in a while, or if I was acting like a fat kid in a cake shop with unlimited access because of my period. I ain't not just a donut, but that and other sugary items and other carbs on that. It was sooo bad...but it tasted so good. Though looking back I do regret all that craziness.

Usually I put up my weekly info, but as you have noticed I missed last week (the close of the 5th week), but I did weigh in and I put on weight. Putting on weight wasn't a huge surprise, but the amount was. How is it that you can put on 6 pound in 7 days? I was bad, but damn I didn't think I was that bad.

On some exciting news I bought a new scale since my current one won't pick a weight and stick to it with in a 30 second time frame jumping with a gap of 10 to 12 pounds from one second to the next. I will put up more info on my newest weight loss item and some pics.

I am glad to be back on my eating healthy journey, and I am feeling better because of it. Not only did I not do so great from Jan 30 - 7, up until tonight I have been limiting my tv, absolutely no reading (which is even harder than not eating for me), blogging, and NOTHING else remotely enjoyable, but I had to do it cause I was trying to catch up. Catching up was taking up all my spare time. Behind in pre calc (in a huge way), behind in ACC 134 & ACC 137.

Happy to say that I am all caught up now. I just want to stay ahead in not just school but getting healthy. I hope everyone has been doing great in any and every aspect that they can. Be thankful for the little things. Even on days when I back pedal...I know that I have come a long way in only a measely 6 weeks.

Keep your eyes forward, head up, and feet moving toward your goals,

HB